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I tried not to let this new information bother me, but it kept nagging me in the back of my mind. Called a “must read manual for marriage” by an Amazon reviewer, this book is one guide to making a marriage work. While serving as a member of the Seventy, Elder Earl C. Tingey said at a Church Educational System (CES) fireside for young adults, “For some, [marriage and family] would appear impossible to obtain. … Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. Criteria for Marriage Readiness among Emerging Adults,” Journal of Adolescent Research, 24, 2009, 366–67. We learned of each other’s faith, testimony, opinions, and quirks. For many young adults, making the marriage decision is straightforward and simple. Studies of the division of household labor con ducted over the past 40 years have shown that women allocate considerably more time each week than men to various household tasks and family care even when they are employed outside their homes. He held a current temple recommend. He will assist you in bringing to pass that which is right and which you righteously desire. He’s … I needed to look at where he was now and where he was going, not just at where he had been. It took weeks and even months. We remain in indecision because of the perceived risk, … Download. Making the Marriage Decision How faith helped these young adults overcome fear and make the choice to marry. Master your fears. Would he always be a hard worker? Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. There were even a few times when I tried to commit to a life of solitude, but lessons from the scriptures and encouragement from my family were enough to nudge me into the dating scene. By the time we were seated in the temple waiting for the sealer to arrive, my desire to be sealed had grown from a seed of faith into “a tree springing up unto everlasting life” (Alma 32:41). I am grateful that he waited patiently for my witness to come. Of course it had always been my choice, but this prompting reminded me that I didn’t need to wait for earth-shattering, divine intervention to tell me to marry Jon; I knew we were compatible, I knew I loved him, and I knew marrying him would be a good thing. Marriage Ideology and Decision-Making. After attending the temple, I was reading my scriptures and contemplating my decision to marry Nathan when I came across this sentence in Moroni 8:16: “Perfect love casteth out all fear.”. He also told me he hadn’t always been active in the Church. It didn’t mean that my other doubts or concerns vanished, because they didn’t. Marriage isn’t always easy—most worthwhile things have difficult moments. He has a great job, and we have meaningful opportunities to serve in our ward. Today, women typically devote about 19 hours, and men about 10 hours, to housework each week (Bianchi et al. We both saw from experience that we worked well together and complemented each other. You can sell your harmonica and therein fund one more meal. Would he be able to provide for our family? But those feelings of peace fed my faith, and I was able to move forward. I knew I should marry her and I knew that I knew. When my witness did come, it wasn’t huge or overwhelming, but I’ll never forget it. They are passionate about living Catholic marriage … Is this decision going to matter tomorrow? (Imagine that—having to work at a relationship!) My exposure to these situations left me wondering if it was all worth it and if I could expect to have a happy, successful marriage. In fact, a recent study of Latter-day Saints in the United States showed that one-third of young adults ages 21 to 25 have some concerns or reservations about their readiness for marriage.1, Despite these challenges, Church leaders have affirmed the command to marry and have assured young adults that eternal marriage is not only possible but also desirable. Current social trends toward delaying and even avoiding marriage further complicate the matter. You can win over your mother-in-law. I learned more about Karen and me—what we could work through together, what our personal weaknesses and strengths were and how they affected us, what our fears were and how we would deal with them, and how to communicate with each other. Don’t give in. Over time, I realized that I truly loved Karen and wanted to spend eternity with her. When she met my family and I saw how she fit in, my glass was full. A therapist can help you accept your spouse’s (or your own) decision to end the marriage if there is no interest in resuscitating it. “If it’s my choice,” I thought, “then I choose him.”, I was contemplating my decision to marry Nathan when I came across this sentence in Moroni 8:16: “Perfect love casteth out all fear.”, Photographs by David Stoker, except as noted. It was a whirlwind of excitement. My relationship with Nathan had progressed—rather quickly—as far as any of my previous dating relationships had, but the others had ended with painful breakups. marriage decision making, since there is no information available in scientific literature on this topic. Choosing to work at our relationship has made all the difference because as I have done so, I have felt closer to and more in love with my husband. He treated me with tremendous respect. Again, I received a feeling of assurance. 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